


OH MY GOD They Were Roommates

by Turbulent_Muse



Series: Roommates Meme [2]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Angst, Bodysharing, Consensual Possession, Fluff, Gen, Inappropriate time for a road trip, Nightmares, On the Run, Sharing a Body, Shopping, Swearing, but not from the law, college au kind of, more tags to be added later, roomate au kind of, violence but nothing too graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-08-23
Packaged: 2020-02-10 10:30:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 19,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18658627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Turbulent_Muse/pseuds/Turbulent_Muse
Summary: Ling and Greed have survived the fire set by the bastard, but now they have to deal with their new situation while finding a way to stop the evil mage from coming after them again. Also, they need to find somewhere better to sleep than Ed's couch. Sequel to And They Were ROOMMATES.





	1. New

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back everyone! I'm so excited to finally be able to start posting this fic, we're picking up right where we left off! I will say that the chapters might be a bit shorter than in And They Were ROOMMATES, and the overall word count is a bit shorter as well. The regular day for updates will be Friday, but I was too excited to wait that long to post the first chapter!

Greed awoke sluggishly at first, then suddenly.

_“Hey, calm down.”_

He was breathing heavily. “Never really…been…unconscious…before.” As Greed adjusted to the feeling of waking up he looked over at where Ed was watching him studiously and somewhat warily. He had obviously been up for some time and was fully dressed with his hair braided.

“You’re Greed.”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Put Ling back in charge.”

“Nope. It’s my turn.” Greed flashed a somewhat sinister grin, just to annoy Ed. “Where’s your brother?”

“He went to class. It’d be too suspicious for both of us to say we got sick at the same time.”

“Makes sense. You got an extra toothbrush? My mouth tastes like blood, smoke, and dirt.”

_“Probably not the best first impression to having a sense of taste, huh?”_ Greed added silently.

_“No, but to be fair, it’s also probably not the worst.”_ Ling responded.

_“Yikes.”_

“It’s not really your mouth though, is it?” Ed said with a glare.

“Oh my god are you still pissed about this?” Greed asked, exasperated. “Whatever, it is my mouth right now and I guess I’ll just have to put your toothbrush in it.”

_“Maybe don’t escalate things. I don’t want us to get punched again.”_

Ling could feel Greed agree reluctantly. _“Alright…I guess I don’t want to get punched again either.”_ Greed sighed and met Ed’s still hostile gaze. “Look, Ed, I wasn’t exactly thrilled about this situation either. Sharing isn’t one of my strongest attributes.”

“Then why didn’t you come up with another way out?” Ed crossed his arms.

“There wasn’t another way out!”

Ed paused. “This was always an option, wasn’t it?”

“Huh?”

“A way to let you leave the house. Why didn’t you just possess the first person to move in after the bastard left?”

“I didn’t want to be stuck with some random asshole.”

“You could have killed them first.”

“That’s not my style.”

“Okay, but you like Ling enough to let him live in your house. Why not possess him sooner?”

“It used to be against the roommate agreement.”

“Used to be?”

“Ling tore the thing to shreds last night.”

Ed sighed. “Of course he did. But you still could have tried to convince him.”

“I guess.” Greed answered reluctantly.

“So why not?”

“Because I never thought the stupid kid would actually agree to it and I…There was no part of me that even considered that if I did bind myself to him he’d end up actually being…okay with it.”

“But you were willing to do it last night anyway?”

“Look, I tried to talk Ling out of this but the stubborn twerp refused to just leave me to die!”

Ed’s eyes went wide.

“Wait…Did you really try to get Ling to leave you behind?”

“Yeah. I don’t lie, brat.”

“So you were willing to die to make sure he was safe?”

“I uh, I wouldn’t put it that way…” Greed’s embarrassment was only increased by the fact the he could feel Ling’s amusement at his reaction. “I thought I was gonna die either way, I didn’t even consider doing this until he insisted.”

“So possessing him was the only way to keep Ling from dying with you?”

“Yep.”

“Wow.” Ed said, considering this. “Ling is even more stupid than I thought.”

_“Hey, I heard that.”_

Greed grinned mischievously. “Yeah, that dumb kid sure is great at getting himself into trouble.”

_“Hey!”_

Greed chuckled quietly to himself. Ed seemed to mentally take note of that. Then he walked over to a stack of drawers and pulled out a toothbrush still in the package. He tossed it to Greed.

“Thanks!” Greed said with a grin. He walked into the bathroom. Ling’s voice could suddenly be heard for a moment through the door.

“Holy shit! When did my arms get this buff?!”

……

“This thing is still the tackiest jacket I’ve ever seen. I’m almost sorry I saved it.” Greed said as he picked up the bright yellow hoodie Ling had used as a pillow the night before. He’d brushed his teeth, washed his face, and made sure there wasn’t any broken glass or twigs in his hair. That was about as clean and presentable as he was going to get until he changed into an outfit that first of all wasn’t pajamas, and secondly didn’t have dirt and blood on it.

_“Hey. That’s my favorite jacket, I’ve had it forever!”_

“I’ve seen you wearing worse.” Ed argued. “Besides, it manages to look less awful when Ling’s wearing it. Although, maybe that’s just because he’s almost _always_ wearing it.”

“Even during the summer?”

“I’ve seen him wear it without a shirt underneath.”

“Jeez.”

Ling grumbled about the criticism but Greed considered it fair payback for all of the comments about his own fashion sense.

Greed started looking through Ling’s backpack. “Damn, I wish I’d had time to grab more clothes. Although I don’t think Ling owned any pants that weren’t sweatpants anyway.”

_“What’s wrong with being comfortable?”_

_“Looking classy takes priority.”_

An image of Greed’s outfit from back when he ran the Devil’s Nest flashed through both of their minds. _“Classy?!”_ Ling questioned, incredulous.

“I could let you borrow some clothes.”

“I’m pretty sure any of your clothes would definitely be too short on me.”

This comment earned Greed another glare.

_“He’s touchy about his height.”_

_“Duly noted.”_ Greed replied with enough mischief in his tone to make Ling certain he wasn’t planning to avoid the topic.

“I could let you borrow some of Al's clothes.” Ed said through clenched teeth.

“Alright, sounds good.” Greed picked out a black button-up shirt and black slacks. “You sure your brother won’t miss these?”

“Are you kidding? I’m surprised he owns any black clothes at all. Do you want something to pull back your hair with?”

“That depends, you got anything that isn’t bright red?”

“What’s wrong with red?!”

“Kinda flashy, don’t you think?” Greed said, staring at Ed’s red jacket hanging on the coat rack.

“ _You’re_ calling me flashy?! You?!”

_“Here we go again.”_

Greed seemed to take Ling’s frustration into consideration. Not that Ling didn’t enjoy messing with Ed sometimes, but the situation was already pretty tense and there were too many other things going on. Besides, it was less fun when he wasn’t doing the teasing himself.

“Never mind, I think there’s a white hair tie in this bag somewhere.”

……

“Aw come on, why’re you staring at me now?”

“Sorry, I just don’t think I’ve ever seen Ling wearing a dress shirt without unbuttoning it.”

_“Shit, kid, how do you expect to be able to take over a whole company if you can’t dress the part?”_

_“Once I graduate suits will be a burden I have to bear until I am powerful enough to rewrite the dress code._ ”

“Oh hey,” Ed tossed something at Greed. He caught it. “You should eat something.”

It was an individual chocolate chip muffin wrapped in plastic. Ling recognized it as being from the dorm’s lounge.

_“Yes. You should eat.”_ Ling commanded sternly. He felt the force of his thought actually intimidate Greed. Also the sight of the food had alerted the demon to how hungry he was. He started opening the plastic.

“What about you? What did you have for breakfast?”

“Black coffee with a 5 Hour Energy and some protein powder mixed in.”

“...How are you not dead?”

“I’m too stubborn.”

It was at this moment that Greed took a bite of the muffin and tasted chocolate for the first time.

“Holy shit. Holy shit! I _get_ it.”

“What?”

_“See, I told you that you were missing out.”_ Ling’s words carried a sense of both happiness and smugness.

“You were so right, kid.” Greed said around a mouthful of muffin. “I totally get food now.”

“What exactly is going on here?” Ed said while watching Greed practically inhale his breakfast. “Jeez, you eat even faster than Ling does.”

“Hey,” Greed said as he stuffed the last bite into his mouth. “Get me another one!”

“What? No.”

“Do it, brat!”

“I can’t! They’re all gone. You slept too late for there to be any more left. You’re lucky they had any at all today, they only do this twice a month.”

Greed gave Ed an excellent impersonation of Ling’s pleading pout.

“Sorry, but if that look isn't strong enough to make me share my fries with Ling then it isn’t strong enough to make me go find you a muffin.”

The pout shifted from pleading to angry.

“Look, you can eat more at lunch, right now we need to figure out if the bastard is still coming after you.” Ed walked over to his desk and sat down.

“Okay, and how do we do that?” Greed said with obvious annoyance.

“Well, first we should check and see what the news has been saying about the fire.” Ed opened his laptop.

“How do you know the news is already saying anything?”

“Because two hours ago Ling’s phone started ringing like crazy over and over again.”

_“Oh no.”_

“Did you, um, answer it?”

“No, I turned it off. It’d be too risky to contact anyone directly until we know more about the situation.”

_“When Lan Fan finds out I’m not dead she’s going to murder me.”_

Greed’s face showed enough of Ling’s concern that Ed felt he should offer some reassurance. “Don’t worry, Al’s going to call Lan Fan from a payphone after his next class and tell her Ling’s alive. He’s going to leave out every single other detail of the situation though.”

_“That’s probably for the best.”_

“Yeah.”

“Huh?” Ed said distractedly.

“That’s probably for the best.”

_“Although, I figure we have a day and a half at most before she shows up here asking many, many questions.”_

_“Can’t we just tell the Elrics to refuse to answer her?”_

_“I don’t think they could. She’s very determined, and a better fighter than Ed. Maybe even better than Al.”_

_“Shit…Wait, that kid fights better than Ed does?”_

Greed realized Ed was staring at him.

“What?”

“...Nothing.” Ed turned back to his computer.

He was soon interrupted by Greed. “ _What_ is that smell?”

Ed took a deep breath through his nose and caught a familiar scent. “I guess someone ordered a pizza.”

“I need some of that. Right now.”

“No. It’s not yours.”

“Not yet.”

“Greed, you can’t just—Hey wait!”

Greed was already headed to the door.

_“Greed, stop. This is not the time to be stealing a pizza.”_

_“But I_ want _it.”_ Greed replied. And Ling could feel that want, that desire. It was such a strong emotion that Ling had trouble not giving in to it. But they needed to focus.

Ling put all the effort he had into reclaiming control of his body. He managed to slow Greed down enough that Ed could pull him back to the couch.

“Seriously. Stay here and listen.” Ed said.

“Fine.” Greed said, defeated. “Tell me what you found.” Then he continued silently to Ling. _“We had better get to eat pizza soon or I’m going to be pissed.”_

_“Greed. I swear if we survive this we can eat as much pizza as you want but first we have to listen to Ed.”_

“Fine.” Greed repeated. Ed ignored him.


	2. Interrogation

“It looks like, so far, the police suspect arson but haven’t confirmed anything. They’re pretty sure Ling survived since there weren’t any remains found and I bet they want to talk to him about what happened. So you had better lay low until we figure out what to say to the cops.”

“Yeah, but it’s not Ling that the bastard really cares about.” Greed responded. “Did the house burn down completely? To ashes?”

“Looks like it. Is there any way for him to tell that you survived? Like with magic?”

“I don’t know. He might have been tipped off by the fact that I didn’t spend my dying moments trying to drag him the rest of the way over the property line while slinging insults and, ideally, flaming debris in his general direction, but I have no idea if there’s any kind of detection spell he could use. If not he might just think I died quicker than expected.”

“Hey, if you could control everything on the property why couldn’t you stop the fire?”

_“Yeah, that’s a good question. I know you could slow it down but why could it overpower your control?”_

“Well it’s not like the guy just threw a molotov through a window, he was using some serious magic! ...That must have been what he was doing when he was staring at the house from all those different places, preparing some kind of ritual spell. It was stronger than anything I’d ever seen him use before. Hell, stronger than I’d ever seen anyone use before. And I may not know much about this stuff but I know that he shouldn’t have been able to cast it from as far away as he did. He should've had to be _touching_ the house, he should’ve had to be close enough for me to _stop_ him.” Greed’s tone changed from frustrated to remorseful. “He’s…He’s a lot more powerful than I thought. I underestimated him and that was a stupid mistake and I almost lost _everything_ because of it, including my life. I _won’t_ make that mistake again.”

_“You didn’t lose everything though. We both made it out, nothing burnt that can’t be replaced.”_ Ling tried to reassure him.

_“Yeah, and look at what that cost us.”_

_“It was well worth it.”_

_“You sure about that, kid?”_

_“Absolutely. Aren’t you?”_

_“Of course I think it was worth it, but I’m not the one who got the short end of the stick here.”_

_“Well, it hasn’t been that bad so far.”_

_“Still, if I’d had been smarter about dealing with the bastard then maybe this wouldn’t have been necessary. Maybe we’d still have the house and the couch and the tv and everything. Plus…I told you I could keep you safe from him and I couldn’t. I broke my word. And I put you in danger.”_

_“You did everything in your power to keep me safe. I can’t blame you for being underprepared and in over your head here, I am too. The more I find out the more it seems like we won the lottery just because neither of us is dead yet.”_

_“I guess that’s true, and now we gotta try to figure out how to keep it that way.”_

_“Right. They’ll be time for regrets later.”_

As Greed turned his attention back to his surroundings he saw that Ed was staring at him again.

“When you zone out like that are you…are you talking to him, to Ling?”

“Yeah, we’re talking shit about you.”

“No, seriously, how does…how does _this_ work?” He said and gestured vaguely at Greed. “Can he hear me?”

Greed took on the faux exasperated pose and tone he used whenever Ed questioned him extensively about the details of the paranormal. “Yeah, Ling’s aware of everything I am and vice versa when he’s in control.”

“And he can talk to you or think at you or whatever and you know what he’s saying?”

“Yep.”

“What about when you’re asleep? Do you share dreams? Are either of you in control then?”

“Don’t know about the dreams, last night we were too tired to really dream any. As for who’s in control, it’s me. I’m the default and if Ling’s in the driver’s seat it’s because I let him take over or he fought his way out.”

_“Probably not the best way to phrase that.”_

“Why? Why not have Ling be the default?” Ed’s tone was getting a little accusatory.

“Because that’s just not how the binding spell works! It wasn’t a choice, jeez!” Greed said, annoyance radiating from his voice and face.

“Let me talk to Ling.”

“Why?”

“To prove that you’ll give up control if I’m not punching you, now just do it!”

“Ugh, fine.”

Ling blinked a couple times and adjusted his posture.

“Really, Ed, your concern for my well-being is touching, but there’s no need. I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, well, forgive me if I have a hard time believing that.” Ling frowned, Ed continued. “I just have a couple more questions, okay?”

Ling rolled his eyes in an exaggerated manner and pulled his feet up so he was sitting cross-legged on the couch. “Okay. But keep in mind that this is still pretty new. Greed and I are both still adjusting to it and are by no means experts.”

“Okay, I’ll keep it simple. What does it feel like for you when Greed’s in control?”

Ling thinks for a moment.

“In terms of how I relate to the outside world it’s a lot like those dreams where you’re watching a movie but you see it through the eyes of the main character. Except in dreams like that you’re usually just passively observing without being able to have any real input, but I can talk to Greed.”

“How does that work? Is it like he just knows everything you’re thinking?”

“I don’t think so, not in complete detail anyway. But we can feel each other’s emotions, and to communicate directly I just focus my thoughts on wanting to say specific words and Greed hears them.”

“And in terms of how you feel and if you’re okay?” Ed prompted.

“In terms of just how it actually _feels_ when Greed’s in control…it’s like…” Ling paused. He hadn’t done too much thinking about how he felt and how to express or define it and he was figuring it out for himself as much as he was explaining it to Ed. “It’s like being deep underwater. Except instead of water it’s a presence, another consciousness, all around me. This other person’s feelings and actions and _self_ just everywhere. And that’s in between me and my awareness of the outside world. Like a lens I have to look through to see what’s around me. And, honestly, I think it would be pretty terrifying if that presence wasn’t someone I know. But I can _feel_ that the presence is Greed. That it’s someone I trust. So it _isn’t_ terrifying.” Ling thought hard and tried to find a word for what it was. “It’s…the opposite of feeling alone.”

“Alright…” Ed answered pensively. “So you’re _okay_ when Greed’s in control? You’re okay with being like that, and you don’t feel trapped, and it doesn’t hurt or anything?”

“Well, the initial process of getting possessed hurt a _lot_ , more than anything I’d ever experienced before. But that was over pretty quick. And if I try to take control without Greed’s help things get…uncomfortable. But when Greed lets me take over it’s fine.”

“And he _does_ let you take over when you want to?”

“So far, yes.” Ling said casually. “Well, we did disagree about who should do the talking when we first showed up here last night, but he realized I was right once you started punching us. Oh, and the pizza thing. I was against that.”

Ed looked concerned. “You’re really fine with this? With having someone else be in control of your body so much of the time?”

“Sure, as long as I can be in control when it’s important I don’t mind.”

_“Don’t worry, kid, I’m not gonna lock you away in here. You’re much too useful.”_

_“Greed, you’re in my head. I know you like and respect me. You can’t pretend you don’t anymore.”_

_“Damn that’s annoying.”_

Ed waved a hand in front of Ling’s face. “Hey, you can’t just drop out of a conversation like that, talk to Greed later.”

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I said, does Greed feel the same way or does he want to always have control?”

“Greed…likes being in control.” Ling had realized this pretty soon after getting possessed and knew it sounded like something he _should_ be concerned about, so he was quick to try to justify it to Ed. “But he hasn’t had a real body for a long time and the ones he’s had before always had dulled senses, so it’s perfectly understandable that he’d want to take advantage of this situation.”

“I guess that explains his reaction to the muffin earlier…And him ‘taking advantage’ doesn’t bother you?”

“It’s actually pretty fun getting to watch and feel him experience things for the first time.” Ling smiled as he thought back to how the rich taste of chocolate had completely taken over Greed’s mind, blocking out everything else and opening up a whole new way of conceptualizing experience. Ling was already thinking up a list of other things he wanted to get Greed to eat.

Ed still looked concerned and pensive, but now he seemed more curious than anything. “So, when you’re in control does it just feel normal or are things different now?”

Ling closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and thought about his current state of being.

“It’s…mostly the same. But there are _some_ differences. As I said before, Greed and I can feel each other’s emotions, and there’s this…this feeling in the back of my mind. It’s like…the sensation of balancing on the edge of a precipice and feeling a strong, fast current rushing behind me…around me…or maybe it’s inside me, pulling like a black hole. And I have to actively keep from falling backwards into that current. It doesn’t take too much effort but it does take some. It’d probably take more if Greed was _trying_ to take back control, though.”

“That…doesn’t sound very comfortable.”

“It doesn’t.” Ling agreed. “But it actually doesn’t bother me. I don’t know why, maybe it’s just that I’m not afraid of what happens if I _do_ fall.”

“So basically what you’re saying is that, when you think about it, reasonably, everything about this _should_ be awful and bad but it isn’t?”

“Yep.” Ling said with a shrug and a cheeky grin. “But, really, things like ‘reason’ and ‘should’ haven’t seemed to apply to me since I met Greed.”

Ed chuckled. “Damn, you’re so _weird_.”

“It’s a weird subject matter. And, speaking of weird, can we get back to the evil magic arsonist situation? Honestly we’re both starting to feel a bit impatient.”

“Alright, alright.” Ed said and turned his attention back to his laptop.

_“I can’t say I’m surprised he doesn’t want to know what it’s like for me.”_ Greed commented.

_“I’m sure it’s just because he was focused on making sure I was okay. His curiosity will show up again with more questions soon. For now, is there anything you want me to add to the report on your behalf?”_ Ling asked, half teasing.

_“Naw, I’m not really sure how I do feel. I’m still adjusting to all this new senses stuff. But, so far, I do like all the new stuff. Especially chocolate.”_

Ling grinned. _“Yeah, it’s a crime that you had to go this long without it.”_

_“And not the fun kind of crime either. So…you really feel how you said you feel? Okay and not scared and not upset if I’m in control?”_

In response Ling just smiled and let himself fall back down over the event horizon in his mind. Greed turned the smile into an amused smirk and reclined against the back of the couch, unfolding his legs and stretching them out.

_“How the hell is this not a complete and utter clusterfuck?”_ Greed asked.

_“I honestly don’t know. But it isn’t, and I’m glad.”_

_“Me too, kid.”_

“Okay, the next step is to try to figure out where he is now.” Ed said, having pulled up the websites he would need.

“Was he in the crowd in any of the photos from the news?” Greed asked. Ed jumped a bit when he heard his voice rather than Ling’s.

“Greed?!”

“Yeah.” Greed said, and raised an eyebrow in a way that made it seem like he was daring Ed to get mad at him again.

“...Okay.” Ed went back to looking through the information he had gathered.

_“That’s progress!”_

_“Yeah, now he tolerates me instead of wanting to beat the shit out of me all the time.”_

_“It’s still a step in the right direction!”_

“It looks like he was in one photo from the news. I should check the crime scene photos that the police got too.”

“Yeah—Wait. How do you have access to those?”

“Um…not legally.”

“So you’re telling me that you have a whole secret life of internet crime that Ling never knew about?” Greed said, leaning forward and smirking.

“I uh, wouldn’t put it like that but yeah I’ve known how to hack into police databases for…awhile.”

“Nice! Looks like you’re less boring than I thought.”

“Actually…Actually I might know how we can track this bastard down.”

“By all means, enlighten me.”

“I could go to the police—”

“I already hate this plan.”

“Listen! I could tell them that Ling told me a couple days ago about seeing that guy watching the house. Then they’ll notice him in the picture and try to find him. And if they do find him, I’ll know.”

“Huh, lying to the cops. You sure you’re up for that?”

“You think this’ll be the first time I’ve done it?”

“Just who the hell _are_ you, Ed?”

“Maybe one day I’ll tell you and Ling the full story. But right now we need to focus on the current problem.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a vague idea of the details of Ed's secret backstory but it's never gonna come up in the fic, sorry.


	3. One Thing at a Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's kinda short, but the scene deserved its own chapter imo.

They worked out exactly what Ed was going to say to the police, sticking as close to the truth as possible. Then Ed left, and Greed and Ling were alone in the Elrics’ dorm.

Greed sat on the couch for a moment, running his fingers over the fabric of the yellow hoodie. After a moment, he slipped it on over his shirt.

“It’s cold in here.” He said aloud. “Is it always?”

_“I think it just feels that way because you’re not used to temperature. And my body might also have some kind of demon-induced fever. You felt like fire in my veins at first…I guess you still do, but I’ve adjusted to it now. Like after you dive into a cold swimming pool on a hot day but the opposite.”_

“Hmm.” Greed said in response, moving his hand over the yellow fabric again.

_“Your sense of touch has never been this strong before, has it?”_ Ling asked.

“No. It hasn’t. It’s not completely new, but before it’s always been the bare minimum needed to make sure I’d realize it if I got hurt. Now everything kind of feels like…like a raw nerve. Unprotected and immediate.”

Greed then started to fiddle with the collar of the shirt he was wearing, the lack of other things distracting him had led him to start noticing more and more how his clothes felt on his skin and the slight discomfort of the collar annoyed him enough that he undid the top button. Then he took off the shirt and hoodie entirely, searched in Ling’s backpack until he found a comfy t-shirt, put it on, and then put the rather ill-fitting dress shirt on over it. It was loose enough around the shoulders and waist that it was more comfortable to wear it unbuttoned, but if he did that the orange novelty t-shirt with a panda eating noodles and the words ‘Phó Real’ on it would be visible, ruining his aesthetic. He rebuttoned the shirt except for the top button and sat back down on the couch grumbling in discomfort.

_“You’ll get used to this.”_ Ling reassured him.

“Yeah...I guess I will.”

There was a silent pause where Greed pulled the yellow hoodie over him like a blanket and both of them thought about what they had just said.

“So…we find the bastard and get rid of him. Then what?”

_“I don’t know. Ed will probably dive right into trying to find a way to safely unbind you from me.”_

“Yeah, but even if he _does_ find a way it’d probably take years to set up that kind of thing unless we just happen to stumble across a hyper-powerful mage willing to help. And we’ve established that we’re both okay like this, which is, by the way, so astoundingly lucky it’s practically a miracle, but what do we do in terms of living our lives while we’re stuck together?”

_“I don’t know.”_

“Seems like we should try to figure that out, don’t you think?”

_“Well, I have a list of things you should definitely try, starting with pizza, ice cream, chocolate chip cookies, pumpkin spice lattes, hot fudge, and pretzel-dogs…But probably not all of those things at once. Beyond that, I’m not sure…There are so many unknown variables, and we already have a pretty complex situation to deal with right now. Maybe…maybe we just cross that bridge when we come to it, wait and see what our options are when the dust settles and take things one day at a time, at least for now.”_

“I guess. There’s no guarantee this mess doesn’t still end with us dead or on the run and it’s not like we don’t have more than enough other things to be thinking about right now besides the foreseeable future.”

_“Exactly.”_

“Like, for instance, when’s lunch?”

_“Exactly!”_ After a moment Ling continued, his words had a more subdued feel to them. _“Greed…are you really okay living like this indefinitely? You’ve made it clear several times that you’re not fond of having to share.”_

“Yeah, well…if you recall I also made it clear that I gain more than I lose when you’re the one I’m sharing with. Besides, like I said, this new senses stuff is mostly pretty fun and my other option was dying.”

_“So we’ve found ourselves in another mutually beneficial arrangement then.”_ Ling thought back fondly to the earlier conversation Greed had referenced.

“What?! What the fuck do _you gain_ from this?”

_“Like you said, the other option was you dying.”_

“And my life means that much to you?”

_“You’re my friend, of course it does. Aren’t you the one that said you need to protect what you want to keep, what’s yours?”_

“Heh, so I’m _yours_ now, am I?” Greed’s tone was casual, but Ling could feel that Greed had been affected by his words.

_“Well, how could you not be? You’re bound to my body.”_

“Are you sure that that doesn’t mean it’s the other way around, that you’re _mine_?”

_“I don’t see any reason why it can’t be both.”_

“Huh. Never thought of it like that.” Greed said, starting to smile almost unconsciously. “I, uh, I guess you’re right.”

_“Glad we’re in agreement. Now let’s find some more food.”_

“Excellent idea, kid!”


	4. Planning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops I thought it was Friday.

When Ed returned he interrupted Greed trying to break into his mini fridge. Luckily, he brought lunch with him from a nearby taco place.

“Here, I just got you what Ling normally gets since you have the same taste buds.” He tossed a bag to Greed who moved back to the couch and immediately started unwrapping a taco and shoved about a full third of it into his mouth as soon as he got the paper off.

“Okay, so—”

He was interrupted by a scream from Greed.

“What’s wrong?!”

“It _hurts_!” He said around a mouthful of taco. “Why does it hurt?!”

 _“It’s just spicy.”_ Ling said. _“I like spicy things.”_

Greed grabbed the soda Ed had brought him and took a drink.

“No, wait—” Ed tried to warn him.

Greed yelled again, half in frustration. Tears started to well up in his eyes. “Why didn’t that work?! Why would anyone willingly eat food that hurts this much?!”

 _“You need to drink some milk! That helps!”_ Ling advised a bit frantically. Greed’s overwhelment and pain was starting to affect him too.

“I need milk!” Greed yelled at Ed.

“I don’t have any!”

“Why not?!”

“Because it’s gross!”

Greed yelled in frustration again.

“Wait,” Ed said. “I think I know a trick that works.” He ran over the mini fridge and grabbed a salt shaker off the top of it.

“You want to literally rub salt in the wound?” Greed questioned.

“Just trust me.” Ed said, and poured some salt onto the back of Greed’s hand.

Greed cautiously licked the salt off the back of his hand and found that it did indeed dull the sting from the taco. “Huh.” He said. “Weird. Thanks, Ed.”

“No problem.” Ed replied. “I guess you’re just not as used to spice as Ling is. Here, you take my tacos and I’ll eat yours, I didn’t get anything spicy.” He switched their food and Greed eagerly dug in to the tacos that had formerly belonged to Ed. Ed took a bite of one of the spicier tacos and made a pained face as he swallowed it.

“I, uh,” he coughed. “I think I’ll just skip lunch today.” He put the tacos in the trash.

 _“What a waste.”_ Ling lamented.

 _“Well, it’s your fault for being crazy enough to like food with psychotic levels of heat.”_ Greed responded as he finished his food.

“Okay.” Ed said. “So I talked to the cops. They should start looking into the bastard soon.”

_“Let me talk to him. I have some things I need to plan out.”_

_“Go for it, kid.”_

“Our next step should be to figure out what my story’s going to be when _I_ talk to the cops. I can’t hide in your dorm forever.”

“Ling?!”

“Yes. Hi, Ed.” Ling said with very little patience. “Let’s start planning. I think I should keep laying low at least until we know where the bastard is, but I’ll need a good explanation for where I’ve been and why I didn’t come forward sooner.”

“You can tell the cops you were scared. You thought the guy was trying to kill you so you ran off into the woods and kept running until you collapsed. Then you came here, some time after I talked to them, to get some clothes and shower before going there.”

“That’ll work if we find out where the bastard is soon. Like, _today_ soon. I guess we’ll wait and come up with a plan for if we don’t if and when we need to. What about Lan Fan? What if she says something to the police that contradicts that story?”

“Don’t worry, Al told her not to tell anyone except her grandfather that she knew you were alive, not even the police, and not to come here looking for you until we give her the all clear.”

“But we still have to figure out what I’m going to tell her afterwards.” Ling grumbled. “She knows me too well, she can always tell when I’m lying.”

“What about telling her the truth?”

“She’d probably take it even worse than you did!” Ling said and sighed. “Okay, I’ll keep thinking about that. We have other things to figure out right now.”

“Like what?”

“Well, for one thing, I can’t walk into a police station looking like this.” Ling gestured to his eyes.

“Oh yeah, right.”

“Actually, I can—”

“Greed?!”

“Yes. Y’know, If you keep doing this every time we switch it’s gonna get annoying really fucking fast.”

 _“That was kind of jarring.”_ Ling complained. _“I’d appreciate some warning next time.”_

 _“Yeah, whatever.”_ Greed responded distractedly. “Anyway, I can make his eyes look like they used to. It’ll take a considerable amount of energy, but I can do it.”

“And do you have to be in control to do that?”

“Uh, I don’t _think_ so.”

“Good. Ling should definitely be the one to talk to the police.”

“No argument here.”

_“What about the teeth?”_

“You think I need to disguise the teeth too?”

“No, they’re not very noticable. I think that brand on the back of your hand is a bigger problem.”

Greed and Ling looked at the back of their left hand. The circle full of interconnected triangles that had been carved there was still visible. It looked like a bright red scar.

“Yeah…um…I can’t really do anything to hide that.”

“What? Why not?”

“It’s the binding rune! It’s what’s keeping me here. My power can’t hide or affect it, and I’m not sure magic from an outside source could either. And I’m not really all that willing to try because without someone who knows what they're doing it might kill me, or Ling, or both of us.”

“Okay. So what about hiding it with non magical means?”

“Huh?”

“Having you wear gloves would seem too weird but we could cover it up with makeup. Make it look less noticeable and more like a normal scar. And if anyone asks, Ling can just say he dropped something heavy and sharp on his hand a while ago.”

“Yeah, that might work. But where are you going to get makeup?”

“Winry leaves a bag here for when she comes over right after work so she can get dressed up if we’re going somewhere fancy.”

 _“Oh_ , so you’ve got a pretty girl leaving her things—”

“Don’t.”

“I was just—”

“You’re living on my couch. You’re possessing my friend. I’m _already_ showing a lot of patience by not kicking your ass. Don’t.”

“Fair enough.”

……

Later, Al had returned. Ed was checking his laptop and the others in the room were waiting to see what he found.

“Okay, wow. Looks like we got lucky.”

“What did the police find out, brother?”

“They managed to see what car he drove into town in.”

“Whoa you weren’t kidding, we did get lucky.” Greed said. “That’s going to be seriously useful for keeping track of him.”

“That’s not even all of it.” Ed continued. “The camera on a toll booth caught him leaving town an hour ago.”

“What?” Al asked. “That doesn’t make any sense, why would he leave now?”

“Do you…Do you think he’s just gone?” Greed asked, unsure how to feel about that possibility.

“I don’t think we got _that_ lucky. My best guess is that he’s laying low to avoid attention from the cops. He’ll be back soon, probably in a different car.”

“Damn.”

“But, we know he’s gone now, which makes this the perfect time for Ling to go talk to the police.”

Greed sighed. “Alright.” He said reluctantly.

“And I’m coming with you.” Ed said.

“Huh?”

“It’ll make them more likely to buy our story about Ling showing up here after I spoke to them before. Plus, I don’t entirely trust you not to just run off after we do this because you want to handle it on your own.”

“Ed, if I run off at this point it’s going to be because living in the woods sounds more appealing than staying in this place. It’s tiny and crowded and loud. And weird.”

“It’s not that bad.”

“Someone is sitting out in the hall crying and I don’t even think they’re drunk.”

Ed shrugged. “College is like that.”

“Look, the bottom line is that I need to find a place to sleep more deserving of my presence than your couch as soon as possible.”

“Okay, but that’s something we can figure out after we make sure none of us are getting arrested.”

“Hey,” Al said from where he had moved to look at the computer. “Brother, the bastard kind of looks like you.”

“What?” Ed exclaimed.

“Actually yeah, now that you mention it, he does.” Greed added. “I mean he’s a bit older and has more pale hair and eyes but—”

“I do _not_ look like that guy!” Ed insisted.

“Well not exactly…” Al conceded. “But…”

“Does Ling think I look like him?” Ed asked Greed.

Ling took over to respond. “All blonde white men look pretty much the same.” He said and shrugged.

Ed gave him an angry look for his lack of support.

Greed took back control to offer a small concession. “He doesn’t sound anything like you though, if I remember his voice correctly. So, there’s that.”

“Whatever.” Ed said, annoyed. “Let’s just go talk to the cops.”

“Yeah,” Greed sighed. “Let’s get this over with.”

“While you’re gone I’ll let Lan Fan know that you’ve spoken to the police.” Al said.

Greed felt a wave of dread from Ling. _“Remember, kid, save the future for the future. We got plenty to worry about right here and now.”_


	5. Reunion

Ed and Ling arrived back at the dorm later than expected. And their arms were full of fast food bags. As he walked through the door Ling threw away the empty cup that had contained a large milkshake and started in on his fries.

“What took you so long? Did everything go okay?” Al asked.

“Yeah, it went fine. The cops seemed to completely believe us. But…”

“But it was very stressful and we convinced Ed to drive us to that burger place I like afterwards.” Ling said. Then he sat on the couch and started really digging into his food.

About five minutes later there was a frantic knock at the door.

“Hello! Ed?! Al?! Is Ling in there?!”

“Oh god, it’s Lan Fan. This isn’t good.” Ling began to panic. They hadn’t had time to plan out what Ling was going to say to her. On top of that there wasn’t time to mask the stranger aspects of his appearance again.

“Maybe we can say you’re not here?” Ed hazarded.

“If this door is not open is five seconds I will kick it down!” Lan Fan yelled.

“She’s not bluffing.” Ling warned.

Ed scrambled over to open the door and as soon as he did Lan Fan pushed past him.

“Ling! Are you okay?!”

“Yeah, listen—”

“What happened?! Your house burned down?! You couldn’t talk to me directly?! You had to lie to the police?! Grandfather lets you live alone for less than a year and this happens?! What kind of trouble did you get into?!” She sounded close to panic.

“Lan Fan—”

“And what’s happened to you?! Your eyes, your teeth?! Is that a tattoo on the back of your hand or a burn?! Why do you suddenly look like you could bench-press a small car?!”

“I can’t really exp—”

“And why didn’t you tell me about _any_ of this?! Why do the Elric brothers know more than I do?! How can I protect you if I don’t know what’s going on?!” Lan Fan finally stopped talking and just looked up at him with her wide, worried eyes for a moment.

“Lan Fan…you don’t need to protect me, I’m fine. Yes, something happened to me and I can’t give you the details but you don’t have to worry. I’m okay, this isn’t something you have to save me from. As for the guy that burned down my house, we’re keeping an eye out for him and the authorities know what he looks like.”

“That’s not good enough! You need to tell me what happened to you! If it’s not something bad then why can’t you tell me?!” She sounded almost hysterical.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say it isn’t something bad.”

“Not helping, Ed.”

_“Yeah, this really isn’t the time.”_

“What does that mean?! Tell me what’s going on!” Lan Fan demanded.

“But don’t worry, we’re going to fix it right after we take care of the bastard arsonist.”

“Well, it would definitely take awhile to undo, if it’s even possible.” Ling amended.

“Wait, what? It could be impossible?!” Ed questioned.

_“Also probably not the best time for_ that _comment, kid.”_

“Yeah, probably not.” Ling admitted under his breath.

“ _Someone_ explain to me _exactly_ what has happened to Ling right now or I swear—”

Now Ed and Lan Fan were both yelling and neither of them would calm down and the situation was quickly spiraling and Ling and Greed had had a long, stressful couple of days and this was just too much. And neither of them knew who was in control when they screamed,

“EVERYBODY STOP SHOUTING!”

The walls shook, the words echoed. Ling’s body had grown gray claws and even larger, sharper teeth. His eyes were blank white, and red lines almost like seams or circuits had appeared on his skin. After the sound faded Greed was left in control. There was a tense silent second. It seemed like the whole building had shut up.

“Oops.”

_“Shit.”_

Almost too quick for him to see Lan Fan shoved Greed against a wall and held a butterfly knife up to his throat. She took out another knife in her other hand and pointed it menacingly at Ed. All of her panic was gone, her movements were deliberate and calculated as were her words.

“Tell me how Ling has become this thing. The truth. Now.”

_“This is bad. This is very bad.”_

“Well, he’s not exactly Ling at the moment…”

“What?”

“But Ling’s still in here so please don’t stab me!”

“Let Ling talk to her about this!” Ed yelled at Greed.

“Do you _really_ think she’d believe it was actually him?!” He countered.

By now Ling’s thoughts had deteriorated into just an intense feeling of panic anyway.

“Explain! Now!” This was directed at Ed.

“Ling kind of, um…got possessed by a demon.”

“What.”

“He’s possessed by an actual literal demon.”

Lan Fan looked like she was about to start screaming panicked questions again but then took a deep breath. “Okay. How do we kill the demon?”

“Um, you don’t.” Greed said. “Not unless you want to risk killing Ling too.”

She looked at him, but still directed her questions at Ed. “How do we get the demon to leave Ling’s body?”

“Sorry, binding rune.” Greed held up his left hand. “Couldn’t leave if I tried.”

Lan Fan was sounding angrier and angrier with each question. “How do we destroy the rune?!”

“Sorry to sound like a broken record, sweetheart, but you can’t. If you try to cut it or burn it or otherwise destroy it it’ll regenerate so fast that it’ll never be completely broken, even for a second.”

“What if I cut off your hand?”

“What?!” Ed, Al, and Greed all exclaim simultaneously.

“If I cut off your hand will that destroy the binding rune?”

“I…uh…I honestly don’t know.”

_“Why not just say no?!”_

_“I don’t lie! And I panicked!”_

“Well then, I guess we’ll see.”

“Wait, don’t!” Ed shouted.

At that moment there was a knock on the door and it was opened by a young woman with dark hair and a mole under her left eye.

“Guys, Denny told me he had to give you a warning last night so if you can’t quiet down—” She stopped short as she took in the scene in front of her.

“Oh.” Ed said. “Hi, Maria. We were just…” There was no way to end that sentence. He trailed off and there were a couple moments of silence where everyone remained frozen. Then Maria seemed to compose herself.

“I am going to leave. I am going to pretend I didn’t see whatever the hell this is. Tomorrow morning everyone who I am responsible for will be alive, unharmed, and accounted for and everyone who doesn’t live here will be gone. There will be no evidence of any of this, and from now on whatever happens is going to happen quietly. If I have to explain _one word_ of this to Mr. Armstrong I’m going to kill all of you. Understood?”

“Yeah.” Ed answered.

“Sure thing, Maria.” Al added.

Maria closed the door and for a moment everyone just stood there silently.

_“Okay, I think it’s time for me to try talking her down.”_

_“Go for it, I’m out of ideas anyway. Just hurry up before she remembers she was about to get all stabby.”_

“Lan Fan.” Ling spoke, drawing all attention back to him as he did. “Lan Fan, put the knives down.”

Lan Fan looked hesitant. “This is a trick.”

“No it isn’t. It’s me.”

Lan Fan looked skeptical. Ling took a deep breath and met her gaze unflinchingly. The red lines and claws melted away and the blank whiteness cleared from his eyes.

“Do you remember when I was in third grade, and the other kids started teasing me about my long hair and you beat them up? Afterwards, instead of punishing you, Fu took us out for ice cream. You got peppermint flavor because it was always your favorite.”

“...And you always hated it. You said it was like—”

“Eating toothpaste. And I got plain vanilla but with rainbow sprinkles mixed in because it reminded me of birthday cake. Lan Fan, it’s me. If you won’t believe that then at least believe that I’m still present enough for the demon to know my memories and if you try to use your knives that you bought from a shady pawn shop when you were fifteen to cut off my hand I’ll feel it.”

Lan Fan had tears in her eyes. She kept her knives in her hands but sheathed the blades. “Then tell me what I should do! How do I save you from this, how do I protect you?!”

Ling moved slightly away from the wall. “I told you earlier, you don’t need to save me. I’m fine.”

“Ling, there is a monster inside of your body that can take control of it at any time!”

“Yeah, but…I know this is going to sound like the stupidest thing I’ve ever said, but I trust him. It’s a long story but I got myself into this and I knew what I was getting into at the time. Lan Fan, I’m okay. I’m actually kind of better than okay. Look, I’ll show you, give me one of your knives.”

Lan Fan hesitated.

“You can go back to pointing the other one at my throat if you want, just trust me.”

She reluctantly handed him a knife, but kept the other held at the ready. Ling ran the blade across the palm of his hand. It stung and began to bleed for a second but then a dim red light formed around the cut and it was healed completely.

“Lan Fan, you don’t have to keep worrying about me and protecting me anymore. Nothing can hurt me now, so it can be my turn to protect you.”

Ling handed the knife back to Lan Fan and she took it, looking a bit shaken. She sat down on the couch and put her face in her hands.

“You are the stupidest man on this planet.” She said.

“Huh?”  
_“Huh?”_

“I will always, _always_ , worry about you and protect you…I don’t like this. Grandfather _definitely_ won’t like this and you _will_ be telling him about it yourself.”

“Wait, I have to tell Fu?! Couldn’t you just cut off my hand instead?”

“But, I will give you the benefit of the doubt, for now. If for no other reason than I have no idea how to even begin to try to fix this. My best idea was cutting off a limb with a butterfly knife! You say you’re okay, fine. But I want to see that you’re okay for myself. So, for the time being, I’m not leaving your side.”

“Wait, you’re staying too? Oh come on, it was already crowded in here before you showed up!” Ed whined.

“I can get us a hotel room nearby if I need to. But first,” Lan Fan grabbed Ling by the bottom of his shirt and pulled him down so he was sitting next to her on the couch. “You have a long story to tell me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's hard to write for Lan Fan in an AU where she's not officially Ling's bodyguard. I hope y'all think I handled their relationship well and did her character justice.


	6. Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This week's chapter is pretty short, sorry.

“I was right. You are the _stupidest_ man on this planet. There was a demon in your house and you stayed! I should never have let you live alone, I knew something would go wrong.” Lan Fan lamented.

“Well, technically, I wasn’t living alone.”

She shot Ling a look that shut him up.

“You’re taking this whole ‘demons are real’ thing pretty well.” Ed observed.

“Out of every single aspect of this situation that I need to process, demons being real is the least urgent. Besides, my family has always been fairly superstitious, and I’ve always thought that refusing to believe in something just makes you less prepared to face it. Of course, I also have to be _made aware_ of a situation in order to help.” She looked back at Ling. “If I had known about this sooner I could have kept it from escalating this far.”

“Okay, Lan Fan, I am an adult. And you are not my mom. It’s not your job to control my life. I know you want to keep me safe, but you need to calm down and start treating me like an equal. I can make my own decisions and I can deal with the consequences of those decisions myself.”

“How am I supposed to believe that when you make mistakes like this?!”

“This wasn’t a mistake!”

The two looked at each other for a tense moment. Then Lan Fan bowed her head.

“I’m sorry, Ling. I know I shouldn’t let my anger control my words but I just…” She trailed off.

Then Ed cleared his throat. “Ling. Can I talk to you out in the hall for a minute?”

Ed opened the door and Ling followed him out of it. They walked over to the back stairway, the one that no one ever used except during fire drills. They could talk there without having to worry about being overheard by anyone.

“And I thought _I_ reacted badly.” Ed said.

“She’s not usually like this. Sure, she’s protective, but we respect each other, she knows I’m not some helpless kid that can’t think for himself. I think she’s just rattled and scared because—”

“Because you let yourself get possessed by a demon. And she blames herself. By the way, what fuck did you mean it might be impossible to fix this?!”

“Look, there might not be a way to undo this safely, and if not then we’d rather not risk one or both of us dying. And even if there is a way it’s not going to be something we can just take care of over a weekend. It’ll probably take years.”

Ed thought for a moment. “Okay. That may be true, but look, no matter how long it takes I’m not going to stop until I find a safe way. I’ll invent one if I have to. I don’t give up, ever.”

“Ed…you can’t derail your whole life for this. I don’t want you to.”

“Eh, it’s really no big deal. Ever since I found out magic was real I’ve wanted to learn how to use it. Al does too.”

After a moment Ling laughed.

“What?”

“Greed says you’re even more stubborn than I am.”

“Damn right.” Ed said proudly. “Also, when were you going to tell me that you have _magic healing powers_ now?”

“I honestly just hadn’t had a chance to bring it up.”

“Alright, yeah, I guess it has been a busy day.”

“It certainly has.”


	7. Goodbyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early Chapter!

As they walked back into the room Al was on his computer and Lan Fan was on the couch.

“Guys, bad news. _Really_ bad news.” Al said. He hopped down from the top bunk, bypassing the ladder in a cool parkour way, and put his laptop on the desk. “So I hacked into CCTV footage—”

“What?!” Lan Fan exclaimed. “That’s what you were doing?!”

“Apparently the Elric brothers are cyber criminals.” Ling said. They all gathered around the desk.

“We can talk about that later! Guys, the bastard was outside the police station! He got back into town quicker than we thought! He saw you two leave!” Al showed them the relevant pictures of the bastard lurking in a corner by the police station and watching Ed and Ling as they left.

“Damn! This is bad.” Ed said, slamming his fist down on the desk.

“Wait, what bastard?” Lan Fan asked.

“The one that burned down the house.” Ling informed her.

“Does he have an actual name?”

“Not that I know.” Ling answered. “Greed probably….Oh, he says the guys name was too long and ridiculous to be worth remembering. Guess we’re sticking with ‘bastard’ then.”

“We need to leave. Right now.” Ed said, running a hand through his bangs nervously.

“Right, I’ll start packing.” Al jumped up from the desk.

“No. You and Lan Fan need to stay here for now.” Ed said as he started throwing things in a suitcase.

“What?!” Lan Fan yelled. She looked about ready to get out her knives again. “If you think I’m letting Ling leave without me then you are _severely_ mistaken.”

“Ed. If you’re trying to me I can’t come because it’s too dangerous—”

“No. No, of course not, Al.”

“The why, Ed?” Ling asked.

“It’ll be easier for us to get out of here the fewer people we have. And we need you to try to find out where the bastard is now.”

“And that means I have to stay too?” Lan Fan asked.

“I want you here with him so you can have each other’s backs in case the bastard does show up. I’m hoping he won’t come here looking for us but we need to be ready for a fight just in case. And, Lan Fan, you need to go get your grandfather. Al, make sure Winry and Granny stay out at the house and don’t come down here. Meet back up with each other, then we’ll find a place for you all to meet up with us.”

“But Ed,” Al objected. “What do we tell Fu?”

“Tell him only what you can prove.” Ling interjects. “That we’re running from someone who burned down my house. We don’t know what he wants with me but it can’t be good, and he’s more than the police can handle. Save the rest for when we can _show_ him.”

“Grandfather won’t like that.”

“No, but I think Ling’s right.” Ed said. “‘Magic is real’ is a pretty big ask to believe without proof. Get off campus as soon as you let us know where the bastard is, I want him to find this room empty if he looks.” Ed finished packing. “Ling? You got all your stuff ready?”

“Yes. Everything I own is already in that backpack.”

_“Unfortunately.”_

“Okay. Al, text when you find the bastard!”

“On it! Be careful out there.”

“You too.”

Lan Fan walked up to Ling.

“Stay safe. If you get hurt I…I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I know. You stay safe too, if something happens to you who’s gonna keep me out of trouble?”

She smiled shyly and nodded. Then her face got serious.

“Let me talk to the demon.”

“Uh, okay.” Ling mentally took a step back.

“What do you—”

Lan Fan grabbed Greed by the shirt.

“Listen here, demon. If you do _anything_ to even _inconvenience_ Ling I will _END_ you. Do you understand?!”

Greed nodded fast. “Yep. Understood.”

“Good. Now bring Ling back.”

“Lan Fan, that really wasn’t necessary, he’s—”

Ling was interrupted by Lan Fan wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug.

“Okay. Now go. Get somewhere safe.”

“Alright. You remember to take care of _yourself_ too.”

_“I think I have emotional whiplash.”_ Greed complained.

Ed finished having his own goodbye with Al and him and Ling walked quickly down to the parking lot near the dorm.

When he saw Ed’s car Greed made Ling freeze in place.

“What the fuck?” Greed asked. “This is the worst possible getaway car.”

The make and model of the car were perfectly normal, but the paint job was certainly unique. The base color was a bright purple and it was accented by brilliant red racing stripes along the top and orange and yellow flames across the sides. It did anything but blend in.

_“Ed has a very…distinct sense of style.”_ Ling justified.

“Just get in!” Ed yelled as he got in the driver’s seat.

Greed hopped in the passenger seat and threw Ling’s backpack in the back where it landed alongside Ed’s duffel bag.

“The bastard is gonna be able to follow us anywhere. Not to mention it’s just tacky.” Greed complained.

“Not if he doesn’t know that _we_ are the ones in here. And shut up.” Ed retorted. “That’s why we’re waiting for Al to text with the bastard’s location before we leave.”

“And do you know where exactly we’re going?”

“Away from here.”

“Fair enough.”

For an unbearable moment they waited. Then Ed’s phone chimed.

“Okay, he’s by the north entrance to campus.” Ed said, a bit nervously. “That means we go west.”

“Okay, let’s go.”

Ed drove out of the parking lot and away from campus significantly faster than necessary, and soon enough they were zooming down the highway into the unknown.

“So…” Greed said after a moment. “You got any good road trip playlists?”


	8. Road Trip!

At first it was nerve-wracking to be on the run from the bastard, but eventually it just became boring. Greed messed around with the radio for a bit, but was unsatisfied with the available selection of music. Then he rolled down the window and let the wind hit his face. It felt like freedom, and Greed let himself get lost in the feeling.

Which is why he was pretty pissed when Ed rolled up the window.

“Hey! What gives?!”

“You can go back to acting like a dog later, right now it’s starting to rain.”

Greed saw that Ed was right, droplets were already collecting on the windshield and soon there was a steady pour outside the car. So Greed tried the radio again, he tried talking with Ed, he tried reading passing billboards, but nothing held his attention for long.

Ling could feel Greed growing more and more restless, for the first time in years he wasn’t trapped in the same old place and he was itching to take advantage of that. Eventually, as Greed stared out the window, he got a crazy impulse.

_“Greed. Don’t do that.”_ Ling warned, sensing his intent.

Greed started rolling down the window, Ed yelled in protest.

_“Seriously, don’t!”_

_“I’ll show him ‘acting like a dog’.”_

Greed took off his seatbelt and leaned his whole head and torso outside of the vehicle and into the rain, laughing like a madman the whole time. Ling tried his best to sulk as the rain soaked their hair, body, and clothes instead of giving in to Greed’s happiness. He was moderately successful. Pretty soon Ed pulled over, grabbed Greed by the shirt, and pulled him back inside the car.

“What the hell, Greed?! Are you trying to get us pulled over by the cops?!”

“Hey, chill! I had just…y’know…never felt the rain on my face before.”

Ed’s face changed from angry to surprised and he stopped to think for a minute. “Okay, I get it. Everything is new to you right now and being cooped up in the car isn’t fun. But if you want to live to enjoy your new senses we gotta put some more distance between us and the bastard. Damn, I wish I had a towel.”

_“Where does he get off acting like he’s in charge?”_ Greed complained to Ling.

_“He’s right.”_ Ling replied. _“You can’t just do whatever you want.”_ Ling wanted to scold Greed more thoroughly, but he was also still caught up in the intoxicating rush of the wind running through his hair like it was the first time he’d ever felt it. It was the most pure _fun_ he’d felt in a long time. But, Ling knew this wasn’t the time or place.

Greed sighed. “I’m…not used to impulse control. And I don’t like it. But I get what you’re saying, I do. No more crazy stunts, you have my word…But, I do think we have time for just a little bit of fun while we make our great escape.”

“You do realize this isn’t a road trip right?”

“Look, Al’s gonna text the second the bastard leaves campus, we have time. What’s the use in running for our lives if we don’t live a little?”

“Fine.” Ed acquiesced after a moment. “We’ll stop and stretch our legs soon. _After_ the rain stops.”

“It’s a deal.”

……

They drove on and Ling took control to try scanning through the radio stations again, they had driven far enough for them to change. He sung along loudly to every song he knew and whenever he came across a song Greed liked he’d let the demon take control and half sing half scream the lyrics at the top of his lungs, much to Ed’s annoyance. Greed loved _feeling_ the words of the song in his throat and chest as he listened and sang, and the way the bass seemed to thump through him louder than his heartbeat. Ling hadn’t realized how much of the joy in singing along to music lay in tactile sensation, there were a lot of things he was learning not to take for granted through Greed. So far there were more upsides than downsides to their situation, and Ling was almost grateful that circumstances had made this a necessity, and he could tell that Greed felt the same way. It was weird, feeling thankful for being possessed by a demon, but it was how he felt. There was a whole world of opportunities and experiences he could show Greed and feel him feel it.

As long as the bastard didn’t kill them before he got the chance.


	9. Acquisitions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My lovely readers! We're halfway there!

After about another hour of driving, Greed saw something that made his heart skip a beat.

“Take this next exit!” He insisted.

“What, why?!” Ed looked around for a reason for Greed’s seriousness.

“There’s a shopping mall down there.”

“You’re joking.”

“Listen, I don’t have any stuff. That’s unacceptable.”

“And what does Ling say about this idea?” Ed countered.

“Actually, I agree.” Ling said.

“What?”

“I don’t have _shoes_ , Ed.”

“Okay. Fair point. We’ll stop and pick a few essentials.”

“Right. Just a few. We’ll need to get back on the road as soon as possible.”

……

Once they entered the mall all eyes were on them. Mostly because Greed was barefoot and his hair and clothes were still wet. But the more people looked the more oddness they noticed.

Ed looked Greed over. “Alright, before you go crazy with Ling’s credit card we need to take care of some basics.”

The next half hour was spent quickly purchasing black tennis shoes and socks, buying sunglasses to cover Greed’s red eyes, and paying a hairdresser to blow dry his hair. Then they bought a duffel bag.

“Now,” Greed said with a smirk. “The real fun begins.”

There was a lot of arguing between Greed and Ling about the style of clothes they would get, where they would get the clothes from, and whether to buy or steal them. From the outside this looked like one person changing his mind constantly and occasionally talking to himself, so both of them, and Ed, were happy that they’d probably never have to come to this particular mall again.

Greed’s taste in clothing was honestly baffling to Ling. On the one hand, he would sometimes go for something simple and elegant, if all black, and on the other hand the store they spent the most time in was Hot Topic. Ling would have fought harder against this but he had to admit that the clothes there were more comfortable than some of Greed’s other choices, and on top of that he was outnumbered, Ed wanted to shop there too.

It was hard to limit Greed to buying just a few outfits and pairs of pajamas, and also not grabbing every little thing he saw that he wanted. Ed and Ling had to talk him down from everything from a gold watch to a cheap mug that looked like an alpaca. After a while of shopping Ed had to physically drag him away from going to buy another duffel bag to fill. After that they left pretty quickly and stopped by a nearby pharmacy to grab a toothbrush and other essentials they couldn’t find at the mall. All in all the whole affair took about four and a half hours.

After all that, by the time they stopped for dinner at Steak and Shake, and Greed was enthusiastically slurping down a hot fudge and strawberry flavored milkshake, the backseat of the car was pretty full.

“Hey.” Ed said quietly. “Do we need to worry about the bastard tracking our credit cards?”

Greed poured some more milkshake into his mouth before answering. He was now dressed in a dark gray tank top that was made to look like it had been extensively graffitied, along with some leather bracelets and black dress pants made out of the softest material he could find. He looked over the top of his fancy sunglasses at Ed. “Naw. He’s not really into using technology for anything, just magic. If he tracks us it won’t be through anything we buy.”

“Hmm. According to Al he’s still just circling campus. Probably waiting to see if he can catch us leaving.” Ed’s phone chimed. “Shit. Forget I said that. He just left. Heading west. We need to go.” Ed threw an appropriate amount of cash on the table and grabbed Greed’s arm. Greed reached back and grabbed the black trench coat he had slung over the back of his chair as he was dragged out of the restaurant and into the parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't care what anyone says, Hot Topic has the comfiest t shirts in the world


	10. Rest Stop

They hopped into the car and drove as fast as they could get away with for hours until Greed noticed Ed’s head starting to nod and his eyes starting to close.

“Hey, brat! Don’t fall asleep at the wheel or the bastard won’t need to kill you.” Greed clapped his hands loudly.

Ed suddenly was fully alert again.

“Sorry. I’ll find a place where I can get a cup of coffee.”

“No, you’ll find a place where we can get a good night’s sleep.”

“Hell no! Do you want the bastard to catch up with us?!”

“Look, you can’t drive twenty-four seven and we have a pretty decent head start. Besides, there’s a chance the bastard only knows what direction we went and if we stop he’ll go past us.”

“But there’s also a chance he always knows exactly what direction he needs to go to find us.” They had discussed what little Greed knew of tracking spells to pass the time while driving.

“Yeah, I guess.” Greed admitted reluctantly.

“Then we keep driving.”

Ling decided to try to convince Ed himself.

“Ed. We need to stop.”

“But what if the bastard finds us? What then?”

“Then it’ll be a good thing you got some rest first.”

“I’m serious, we are not _at all_ prepared to face him.”

“And I’m not sure we ever will be. But we can’t drive forever. We have to face him eventually. And if that happens tonight it happens tonight, but you need _sleep_ Ed.”

“What if I just pull over and let you drive? Then I could sleep and we could still keep going.”

“As much as Greed wants to try driving, neither of us knows how and we’re tired too. We need to stop, just for the night.”

“…Alright, fine. But only because I’m too tired to argue any more.”

They stopped and got a room at the next hotel they came across. Ed immediately got into one of the beds and fell asleep but Ling took the time to shower and change into his new silk pajamas first. As he was looking in his bag for his new toothbrush he came across the stuffed lion he had held in fear the first night he spent in the old house, what felt like a lifetime ago. Ling picked up the toy and smelled the fabric. It still held the scent of his childhood home. Then he put it back in the bag and lay down in the empty bed.

“Greed.” He whispered quietly, though he was sure nothing short of a marching band could wake Ed right now.

_“Yeah?”_

“Do you know what happens to humans when they die?”

There was a long pause.

_“No. Not really. I mean, I know ghosts can happen sometimes but beyond that…Sorry.”_

“It’s okay. I was just wondering.” Ling pulled the covers closer around him and tried to get comfortable on the unfamiliar bed. After a moment of stillness he whispered again. “Greed, I’m scared. I’m scared of what’s going to happen when we face the bastard.”

_“Me too. I’m sorry I dragged you into this, kid.”_

“Don’t say that. Even if things had turned out differently somehow back at the house, I still wouldn’t have left you to face this alone. You’re my friend, we’re in this together.”

_“Thanks for that, roomie.”_

“No problem, roomie.”

_“So…what do we do now?”_

“The only thing we can. Hope for the best and sleep.”

And they did.


	11. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Y'all ready for some more angst?

The cold sharp metal felt like it was ripping him further apart with every breath. He wished he could just stop breathing but he couldn’t hold back the violent sobbs. Below him was a river of blood. Familiar faces started to appear in it.

“Save us!” They cried. He tried to move, to tear himself off the wall and go to them but he couldn't move an inch no matter how hard he pushed against the blades. “Why didn’t you save us?!”

“I’m sorry! Oh god, I’m so sorry!”

Then a force started pulling him farther and farther away and he couldn't stop it as he was dragged away from everyone and trapped, alone, abandoned. He screamed.

_“Greed. It’s just a nightmare.”_

He fought as hard as he could but the force was unstoppable and soon he was completely isolated, so far away from any other person that he had no idea how to find his way back.

_“Greed. It’s not real. You’re not there, you’re free. Wake up.”_

He had to get out, get back to his people, find them wherever they were and go there, but he didn’t know how. Then everything started going black and there was nothing, nothing and nowhere, and the whole world was empty and—

_“I’m here! You’re not alone! Wake up!”_

Greed yelled as he awoke which startled Ed, who was already up and getting ready. He gave him a quizzical look.

“Bad dream.” Greed explained.

Ed nodded in understanding and went back to tying his shoes.

Greed grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste and rushed into the hotel room’s small bathroom. He closed the door behind him. Then he sank down onto the floor and started crying.

_“Greed, It’s okay. It was just a dream.”_

“No.” Greed whispered. “I let them die. I let them all die.” Almost hysterical sobs were working their way out of his throat now.

_“You did all that you could.”_

“No.” Greed was starting to hyperventilate now.

_“Greed, let me take control. Let me help.”_

Greed just shook his head and continued breathing fast. Ling gritted his metaphorical teeth and threw all his strength behind taking control by force. At first Greed fought being shoved into the backseat of their head but after a moment his presence just seemed to curl in on himself in a ball of guilt and grief.

Ling began taking deliberately slow breaths until he felt his heart rate slow down. He was still crying, but it was more controlled now. He started whispering reassurances in an effort to calm Greed.

“It’s okay. It wasn’t your fault. You’re okay. You’re not alone. I’m here. I’m right here.”

……

After the tears stopped Ling got up and splashed some cold water from the sink onto his face. Then he drank some. He made a face at the taste in his mouth and started brushing his teeth.

_“Thanks, kid.”_ Greed said after a moment. _“Thanks for the help. Sorry I just broke down like that.”_

_“It’s perfectly understandable.”_ Ling replied, scrubbing at his tongue with the toothbrush. _“This was your very first nightmare and it was a real fucking doozy.”_

_“Sorry you had to see that. Feel that.”_

_“It’s okay. I’m no stranger to grief and nightmares and I’m your friend. I want to help you through this stuff when it happens.”_

_“…Kid…Ling, I don’t want to face the bastard. I don’t want to risk not being able to protect any more people.”_

_“We’ll figure something out. I’m not keen on the idea of losing you either.”_

_“You afraid your head’ll get lonely without me in it?”_ Greed joked.

“Yes, I am.” Ling said quietly and sincerely. Even he seemed surprised at his words. Neither him nor Greed commented on them.


	12. Gathering Storm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness I am SO sorry about the late chapter! I was feeling tired and sick yesterday and honestly just forgot :/ Anyway this chapter is short, but after this things are really gonna start going down.

“Come on, we need to get back on the road.”

“No.”

“Greed, Al lost track of the bastard so he could show up at any minute. We need to at least get far away from innocent people who have nothing to do with this and that means leaving this restaurant.”

“In a minute, this is important.”

“This is _the opposite_ of important, Greed! I can’t believe Ling is letting you waste this much money.”

Greed leaned over the gashapon and put in another quarter. “It’s not a waste. I need one of each prize.”

Ling was honestly also a bit surprised that he was willing to indulge Greed this much, between this and Ling’s own determination to get the high score on the pinball machine, this stop was significantly eating into both time and funds. But Greed’s desire for material possessions was visceral. It felt like a need, almost like hunger or thirst. And the more stuff they put in their bags the better both of them felt, which meant they had been doing a lot of stopping at weird little local museums and other places with gift shops along with tiny roadside stores selling produce and fudge and saltwater taffy.

The satisfaction he felt upon filling his backpack with keychains and knick-knacks wasn’t the only reason he was having trouble not giving in to Greed’s demands that they stop practically every ten minutes, however. Ling also didn’t want to deny Greed any new experiences. He was very aware that they could both end up dead any day now and wanted to help Greed make up for lost time as much as he could.

And it _would_ be the _both_ of them dead if it was either of them. There was no way now to kill one of them without the other also dying. Greed felt incredibly guilty about this fact but Ling was almost grateful. He didn’t think he’d want to survive _feeling_ his best friend die.

They found a good place to wait to meet up with the others towards the end of the third day of driving. They had changed directions several times so everyone else should have been able to get there within a day. It was a hotel next to a small patch of woods containing a park that was run down enough to be completely empty. It’s vacant state probably also had something to do with the weather. There was a storm coming, a big one.

They checked in, Ed texted Al the address, and they waited for their reinforcements to arrive.

That night Ling ordered everything on the room service menu that sounded even remotely good and tried not to think of it as a last meal. He and Ed said goodnight in tense, worried tones. Afterwards they tried but failed to sleep.


	13. Visitor

At around five am, they had managed to at least be dozing. A harsh knock at the door awoke them.

“It’s too soon for this to be our backup.” Greed said, on guard.

“Is it the bastard?” Ed asked, nervous.

“I don’t know.”

Then they heard a voice from the other side of the door.

“Edward? Edward are you in there?”

“Oh fuck.” Ed said, annoyed. “I think I know who this is.” He got up, turned on the lights, and got on his tiptoes to look through the peephole. “Fuck.” He swore with even more feeling.

Greed hopped out of bed as Ed opened the door to reveal a middle-aged blonde white man with a beard and glasses.

“What the hell do you want Hoenheim? And how did you find me?”

“I heard you might be in danger so I tracked you down in case you needed my help.”

“Why do you care?! You never cared before! Not when Mom died, not when Al and I got hurt, why don’t you just do what you do best and leave?!”

But Hoenheim had lost focus on Ed and was staring at Greed intently.

“That’s an…interesting mark on the back of your hand.” He said.

“Say what you really wanna say.” Greed challenged defensively.

“Alright. I’m a bit concerned that my son seems to be spending time with a demon.”

“Wait,” Ed said, shocked. “You know about this stuff? Magic and demons and all that shit?”

“Yes. I do. And I think it’s time you let me come into the room, Edward.”

Ed reluctantly stepped aside and closed the door behind Hoenheim as he entered. “You have a hell of a lot of explaining to do.”

“Of course. But right now it is important that you tell me everything you know about the situation you’re in right now.”

“Wait a minute, not only do you know about magic in general but you’re _connected_ to this whole mess somehow? That’s it, get out!”

“Edward, please. I think I might be able to help you if you just tell me what you already know.”

“Like shit! If anything you’re the one that owes me an explanation, not the other way around, but I don’t think I want to hear it!”

“Ed. I need to talk to you.” Greed said seriously and motioned to the other side of the room. Ed followed him over.

“Listen, if you’re going to try to convince me—”

“I don’t want us to die. Ling doesn’t want us die either. By some miracle we might now have a chance of not dying and that chance is your old man. I can see you don’t like him and I’m not asking you to, but we at least need to hear him out. If he wants to know our story first then fine, tell him. Is your pride worth more to you than our lives?”

After a moment Ed sighed in frustration.

“You’re right. I don’t like it, but if he really knows more than we do then we need him.”

“Sometimes you have to put things like grudges to the side until you can get what you want.”

“Pretty good advice for a demon.” Ed said with a smirk.

“Who said avarice has to be all bad?” Greed replied cheekily.

Ed walked back over to his father.

“Okay. I’ll tell you how we ended up here. But not because I want to or because I trust you to give a shit, just because we need your help.” Ed took a deep breath and sat down on one of the beds before starting his explanation. “The demon’s name is Greed. He was bound to a house that a friend of mine, Ling, was living in. Ling knew about Greed but managed to actually get along pretty well with him.”

“So this demon tricked your friend before betraying and possessing him?”

“Hey!” Greed interjected. “There was no trickery involved. I don’t lie.”

“It’s true.” Ed said before Hoenheim could respond to this. “The bastard that bound Greed to the house in the first place showed up and burned it down. Ling let himself get possessed to save Greed.”

“And you believe this because the demon told you?” There was no judgement in Hoenheim’s tone, it was just a question.

“I believe this because I know Ling and I know this sounds like exactly the kind of stupid thing he’d do. Also…I know Greed well enough to be sure that he isn’t faking when he puts Ling back in control.”

“Interesting.” Hoenheim walked over to where Greed was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. “What were your feelings towards the man that bound you to the house before he burned it?”

“Anger.”

_“You felt like you weren’t good enough for him. You felt abandoned. I didn’t know that.”_

_“Shut up, kid.”_

“And now?”

“Rage.”

Hoenheim nodded.

“I assume you are a demon of avarice, correct?”

“Yep.”

“Why share control with the person you are possessing?”

“Because…Because he’s my friend.” Greed muttered. “What can I say, the kid’s annoying but he grows on you.”

Hoenheim stared at Greed for a moment. Both him and Ling felt uncomfortable under his gaze. Then Hoenheim walked back over to where he could address everyone in the room.

“I believe you. You see, I have a history with the man who is now pursuing you. His name is Theophrastus Bombastus.”

“Christ, can we just stick with ‘bastard’?” Greed asked. “Because I didn’t remember that before and I’m not going to even try to now.”

“Very well. This bastard is an incredibly powerful mage, most likely the most powerful man on earth. I have been pursuing him and trying to figure out his plans for over a decade now, and I now believe I know exactly what he’s up to.”

“And what is that?” Ed asked frustratedly.

“It’s…difficult to understand. Even for someone with extensive knowledge of magic.”

“Try me.” Ed responded through clenched teeth.

“Well he’s trying to gain even more power, and the main idea of his methods is…are you familiar with the purchase of human souls by demons?”

“I know that it’s really rare.” Ed said.

“Wait,” Greed said. “Are you saying the bastard is using souls to power his magic?!”

_“Shit, how bad is this? I’ve never felt you this scared.”_

“Monumentally bad! We’re fucked! He’s gonna be unstoppable! How did he even pull this off?! It should be impossible for a human!”

“I don’t know what exactly he’s turned himself into at this time, but it’s safe to say that he’s not human. Don’t worry though, I know how to fight him.”

“That’d be reassuring if he didn’t have the magical equivalent of a nuke.”

“Greed, why did he bind you to that house?” Hoenheim asked, ignoring the demon’s angrily panicked state.

“To guard his stuff.”

“And do you know what that ‘stuff’ was?”

“Um, old books and research notes, mostly. He performed some rituals with it, but I never really paid attention. And I didn’t understand much when I did.”

“Damn. More information would have been useful.”

“This is it?” Ed said, not looking at Hoenheim. He had been thinking for some time. “This is why you left? To fight the bastard?” It wasn’t really a question, and it was more angry than anything else. “Me and Al got left alone, because of all of this?”

“Edward…”

“No, fuck you! I didn’t even know magic existed until I found a demon in my friend’s house and all along you knew and it was the reason you were gone!” Ed stood up as he talked. “We’re going to stop this bastard together, so he doesn’t hurt anyone else, and then I never want to see you again.”

Hoenheim was quiet for a moment before he spoke.

“I’m glad you’re willing to work with me at all, considering all the ways I’ve failed you. It makes me proud.”

“I don’t care.” Ed replied.

……

Things were awkward for awhile. Hoenheim began doing weird rituals to prepare for fighting the bastard. Ed tried to look like he wasn’t watching studiously and itching to take notes. Greed bounced a bouncy ball from a gashapon against the wall. Eventually Ed’s phone chimed.

“It’s Al, he found the bastard again…This is bad, the bastard’s here but Al and Lan Fan and Fu are still pretty far away.”

“Don’t worry, Edward.” Hoenheim said. “I will fight the bastard by myself. You and the demon stay here.”

“Like hell I’m going to leave this to you!” Ed yelled. “Just tell me how to fight him and I’ll fight him!”

“I could put some enchantments on you to help defend you against magic but it would take time that we don’t have.” Hoenheim conceded.

“Then I guess it’s up to me to buy you that time.”

_“Facing the bastard alone is suicide, Ling.”_

_“We just need to stall him, distract him. We can do that.”_

_“Okay…don’t get yourself killed, kid.”_

_“I won’t.”_

“Young man I would strongly advise against this.” Said Hoenheim.

“Yeah, we all wait. If you want out this door you’ll have to go through me!” Ed insisted.

“Okay.” Ling said and jumped out the window. After he fell the four stories to the ground he looked back up at Ed. “Just hurry up!” He yelled and ran towards the woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know some of you might be a bit disappointed I didn't go into Hoenheim's backstory with the bastard more, but this story isn't really about them and I wanted to keep the focus on the main characters and what's happening now.


	14. Encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets real.

Ling ran until he found a small clearing, made sure it was completely empty, then waited.

He didn’t have to wait long.

“Greed.” A voice behind him said calmly. He turned around and saw the bastard. Up close the man really did look like a slightly older, slightly more pale, version of Ed. It was almost disturbing. “Why have you been running from me, Greed?” He asked casually.

“Um, maybe because you tried to _kill me_!” Greed yelled back.

“Nonsense, you are alive, aren’t you? I just needed to get rid of the house, it was nothing personal.”

“Nothing personal? You _bound_ me to that house!”

“And you managed to find something else to bind yourself to.”

“Bastard!” Greed yelled, and ran at the mage. Suddenly, Greed couldn’t move his feet. He looked down and saw the ground had sprung up and encircled his ankles, it was now turning to thick metal and trapping him.

_“Should he be able to do that without moving or speaking?”_

_“Nope.”_ Greed was starting to panic.

“Listen, Greed. I have an offer to make you.”

Greed gulped and turned his attention back to the bastard.

“Greed, rejoin my service, help me now when I am so close to achieving my goals.”

“Why would I do that?”

“Because your other option is to perish.”

“Burn in hell.” Greed spat.

“You first.” The bastard said with the slightest hint of amusement in his voice. Then he held out his palm and a jet of fire soared towards Greed.

Greed crouched down and threw his hands up protectively and shouted something unintelligible to Ling. Just before the fire reached him and Greed they were surrounded in a glowing silver aura that blocked the flames. Greed stood back up with only minor burns, which were rapidly healing.

_“What was that?!”_

_“I do know some magic, kid.”_

Greed addressed the bastard. “Wait a minute! Before you kill me just do one thing, unbind me from this body.”

_“What?!”_

“Why?”

_“No. No way in hell am I letting you do this!”_

“The kid has nothing to do with this, you can just let him go.”

_“Do you expect me to just watch while you die?!”_

“Compassion for the body you’re possessing. Hmm, that is surprising…and pitiful. I have no reason to be making deals with you, and besides this boy and his blonde friend have seen too much. I will kill all three of you and devour your souls.”

_“Can…Can he even do that? And to a demon too?”_ Ling asked, his fear overriding his anger.

_“I don’t wanna find out.”_

Greed summoned his claws and tore at the metal binding his feet but to no avail. _“I guess this is goodbye, kid.”_ Greed sighed defeatedly. _“It was fun while it lasted.”_

_“No! We can’t give up!”_

_“What else can we do?! Seriously, do you have any ideas?”_

Just then they heard a voice from behind them. “Well, that simply won’t do.” Hoenheim walked up and put a hand on Greed’s shoulder. The metal around his feet vanished and he was free. He immediately took a step back and saw Ed approaching as he did.

“Hoenheim!” The bastard yelled, not unhappily. “After all this time, what business do you have interfering with my plans?” He added with more malice.

“I cannot allow you to hurt innocent people. Especially when one of them is my son.”

“You will not stand in my way, Hoenheim! I _will_ become a god!”

“You will do no such thing, you arrogant fool!”

The bastard seemed to consider the group in front of him. “Very well, this shall end in violence. But three against one is hardly fair.” The bastard snapped his fingers and two figures appeared at his side. On his right was a being seemingly made of pure darkness, eyes, and teeth. But it was the one on his left that grabbed Greed’s full attention. It looked human, a middle-aged man with a mustache and a casual smile. The only things that betrayed that he was dangerous were his two swords and his glowing red eye.

“Long time no see, Greed.” He said casually. Greed’s blood boiled with anger, fear, and hatred.

_“Greed, who is he?”_

_“That’s Wrath.”_

Greed clenched his jaw and prepared to spring forward.

_“He’s the one who killed me back at the Devil’s Nest.”_

Greed started running. He spoke aloud.

“And now, I’m going to return the favor!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if you were looking forward to Greed fighting the bastard, but I figured this would be a bit more satisfying. ;P


	15. Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no experience writing fight scenes, sorry if this chapter is not up to usual standards of writing. Also I borrowed a LOT from canon fights.

The next moments were a frenzy of claws and swords. Of jumping backwards to avoid getting hit and retreating further into the woods. Greed spoke more in the language of magic and the glowing shield from before covered his arms, which he used to block Wrath’s blows.

He tried and tried to land a hit but Wrath’s speed made sure he was always on the defensive. As he fought, Greed yelled angrily at the other demon. “You took _everything_ from me! My life, my business, my people! I swear I’ll make you pay!”

“What, you miss your things, Greed?” Wrath mocked. He sounded calm despite the circumstances, like he wasn’t even exerting himself in the fight. “You’re still pathetic. A foolish packrat clinging to the past, unworthy of being called a demon at all. I was hoping your time back home would teach you something, I guess I’ll just have to _try again_!”

Wrath dropped one sword to grab Greed by the shirt and threw him against the ground. He then pinned Greed’s arms with his feet and swung a sword down so it was on a collision course with Greed’s neck. Just in the nick of time, Greed was able to extend the shield over his entire body once more. Wrath’s sword broke against it and Greed used the momentary confusion to break free and quickly climb up a nearby tree.

_“We need a new strategy, kid. Those blades are heavily enchanted I don’t have the energy to block or heal many more major blows.”_

From the tree the other two fights were clearly visible. Ed was dodging sharp shadows and trying to land punches on the being’s central mass, Hoenheim and the bastard were tearing up the ground beneath them and throwing all sorts of magical attacks at each other.

_“Looks like backup is unavailable.”_ Ling said solemnly and a bit fearfully.

Just then there was a horrible crack as a tree near them fell. Then another. It was only a matter of time now.

Then Greed heard the clash of metal against metal. He looked down and saw something parrying Wrath’s strikes. Something that Ling recognized.

“I thought Fu’s sword was just ornamental.” Ling said, shocked. Then Lan Fan climbed up to the branch next to him.

“Ling!”

“Lan Fan, you’re here! And Fu!”

“Sorry we were late. The situation took a lot of explaining, and I’m still mad at you for leaving _me_ to do that explaining.”

“Sorry.” Ling said, embarrassed. “I swear it wasn’t on purpose.”

“I’ll decide if I believe that later.”

Back on the ground Ling could see that Al had shown up and was helping Hoenheim and Ed in their own battles, which were quickly merging into one single tangled mess of a fight.

“Come on,” Ling said. “With Fu doing the blocking one of us is sure to land a hit!”

Lan Fan had her knives at the ready. Greed resumed control and summoned his claws, then he and Lan Fan both jumped down into the fray.


	16. Casualties

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to be getting this posted so late in the day. Today was busy.

Even working together, they still couldn’t land a hit on Wrath, he was just too fast.

_“How can he move like this?”_ Ling asked.

_“Demons of fury do have increased speed and strength, but this is something else altogether. I’d say it has to do with his eye.”_

_“The glowing one?”_

_“Yep. It’s a sign that he has a spell on him. Usually this sort of stuff is temporary and only works on humans but I guess the bastard found a way to bend the rules.”_

_“Great.”_ Ling said sarcastically.

_“Yeah, great.”_ Greed echoed with much the same tone.

Lan Fan made a noise of anger as Wrath side-stepped her knives once more. She rushed in, attempting to get close enough that he couldn’t reach her with his swords, desperate to do some damage. Unfortunately, this was a mistake. Before she could get close enough Wrath’s sword knocked her knife from her hand and shredded her arm like it was nothing. Luckily she was able to use her other knife to block the blow from shredding her throat as well, and even luckier, her knife hit the sword in the exact place it needed to to break it in half. Still, at that moment she fell to the ground and began bleeding at an alarming rate.

“Lan Fan!” Ling screamed and ran towards her.

Wrath tossed the broken sword aside before summoning another, seemingly from out of thin air. Then he raised it above Lan Fan. Ling skidded to the ground in front of her and shielded her with his body. But the blow never came. Ling looked up to see Fu blocking Wrath’s sword with his own.

“Get her to safety, I will buy you some time.”

Ling picked up Lan Fan and ran until he was clear of the area of battle. Then he tore up the shirt he was wearing to make a tourniquet. For once, Greed was silent about losing something that was his. Ling was outwardly calm, but mentally he was freaking out.

_“She’s losing so much blood, oh god.”_

_“Calm down, kid.”_

_“My fault, it’s my fault.”_

_“Focus! Keep everyone safe from Wrath for now, feel guilty later.”_

Ling tried his best to follow that advice. As he tended to her wounds, Lan Fan tried to get up.

“Stay still, Lan Fan. You’re too badly injured to be moving.”

“No. I can still fight.” She insisted. And tried to get up again. Ling gently pushed her back down.

“You can’t.”

“I will!”

Greed decided to take control. “Listen here, sweetheart, you’d just be a liability out there. We’d have to focus on protecting you instead of killing Wrath. The best way to help Ling and Fu is to sit this one out.”

Lan Fan looked like she was about to argue, but then she sighed. “You’re right, demon. I…I will remain here.”

“Good.” Greed walked off back towards the battle.

_“Thank you for saying that, Greed. I wouldn’t have been able to.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, let’s just hurry up and help the old man out.”_

Fu did need help. He was barely able to block Wrath’s strikes, he was starting to get tired, his movements grew slower. As he saw this, Greed brought the shield back up to his elbows and jumped into the fray, successfully distracting Wrath and giving Fu time to breathe.

“You holding up okay, gramps?” Greed asked.

“Silence, vile creature!” Was Fu’s response. “I would gladly leave you to die if it did not mean losing Ling as well.”

“Okay, yikes.”

They resumed their fight, Wrath slowly backed them up to the treeline and then made a wide sweep that neither of them were able to block. Because it wasn’t them he was aiming at. A second later there were cracking sounds above them in the canopy, like something was moving up there. Greed immediately realized what was happening and shoved Fu to the side before trying to dodge the falling tree himself. Unfortunately, he jumped just barely too late and the massive trunk pinned one of his legs to the ground, crushing it. Even worse, Wrath was leisurely approaching where Greed lay like a wolf approaches a rabbit caught in a trap. Greed struggled to lift the trunk off of his leg, even tried a bit of magic, but to no avail. Then Fu stood up, saw the scene before him, and rushed at Wrath from the side. Wrath’s head immediately swivelled to face him.

“No! You stupid old man!” A voice called out in desperate frustration. It might have been Greed’s, or Ling’s. Or both.

Wrath ran at Fu but the old man didn’t alter his course. Fu advanced like a train barreling down a track heading straight for Wrath, not even stopping when Wrath ran a sword through his gut. Not until he had put his own sword through Wrath’s. Fu fell to the ground. Wrath removed Fu’s sword from his stomach and watched, surprised, as blood began to stain his white shirt.

Then Greed was upon him. He had finally managed to claw his way free of the tree and was now taking out his anger on Wrath’s face with his claws. He managed to get rid of the glowing eye before Wrath fell to the ground. Then he quickly gathered up the broken blades from Wrath’s swords and used them to pin Wrath to the ground by his hands.

_“His wounds aren’t closing.”_ Ling noticed.

_“Demons of fury work different, but it’ll still take more than this to kill him.”_

Ling desperately wanted to run to Fu’s side but he knew that they needed to get rid of Wrath first. Greed looked at the pinned demon with cold rage on his face.

“You made a big mistake.” Greed said. “Now you’ve pissed us both off.”

“Both? So you, Greed, would share your mind with a human. You’re more pathetic than I thought. Do you even have any true avarice in you, because there’s certainly no demonhood behind those eyes.”

“Oh, I've got avarice alright. A true abundance of it, I do whatever it takes to get what I want. And right now? Now I want _your life_ , Wrath!”

“You haven’t beat me just yet.” Wrath threatened.

Greed ignored him. “Y’know, there _is_ one important thing about my situation that’ll help me win.” Greed showed off his left hand. “I’m bound to something in this world and you aren’t, which will make what I’m about to do a _hell_ of a lot easier.”

Wrath’s remaining eye got wide.

“That’s right you asshole, I may be shit at magic but I remember every single word you said to me in that tunnel. Especially what you said to send me back home.”

Wrath started to struggle. Greed moved to sit on his chest. Then he started reciting words in a language Ling didn’t know. As he did so, Wrath struggled more and more. A red light moved from Greed’s hands to surround Wrath and it seemed to be disintegrating him.

“When I get back here I’ll destroy you _and_ your pet human.”

“If you get back, you mean. And that’s a big if. Either way, for now, goodbye, Wrath.” Greed completed the spell and Wrath disappeared into dust below him.


	17. Choice

After Wrath was gone Greed fell over onto the ground. He made no move to get back up and suddenly Ling was back in control of his body.

“Greed!” He called out, distressed.

_“I’m okay, kid. Just no more magic for like a week. And you might have to stay in the driver’s seat for awhile while I get some rest. But don’t worry about me, go check on the old man.”_

“Fu!” Ling yelled as he got up. As he ran over he saw Lan Fan at Fu’s side, putting pressure on the wound in his back with her one good arm. Ling put his hands around the blade on the other side. “Hold on Fu, you’re going to be okay.”

“I won’t fall for your tricks, demon.” Fu said weakly.

“Grandfather,” Lan Fan said hesitantly. “I believe there is a chance this is really Ling.”

“Then you are a fool.”

Lan Fan looked pained, then turned her attention back to Ling. “I called an ambulance, it should be here soon.”

“Good.” Ling said.

_“Oh god, not again, no, I can’t lose anyone else to Wrath, not again.”_

Ling realized his own panic and guilt and fear were sending Greed into some sort of emotional spiral. He tried to get control of his feelings.

Just then, the others, finished with their own battle, started drifting towards the small group. Some of them were injured, but none severely. They stopped in shock when they saw the condition Lan Fan and Fu were in, except for Hoenheim. He ran over until he was standing right next to them.

“Who _is_ this man? Ed never explained his presence.” Lan Fan asked warily.

“This is Hoenheim.” Ling replied. “He’s Ed and Al’s father.”

“I know magic.” Hoenheim said casually.

“Why should we trust what either of you say?” Fu said, managing to sound stern despite the pain in his voice.

“It’s true.” Al chimed in from the crowd. “And I saw him defeat the bastard almost by himself, he’s extremely powerful.”

Ling looked up at the mage. “Can you do anything to help?”

“Yes.” Ling let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding. “But, you three have a choice to make. I can only do _one_ thing. My magical energy is not the kind that regenerates, and I have exactly enough left to help one of you.” Hoenheim knelt down beside them. “I can heal Fu’s wounds, but if we get him to a hospital there is a significant chance he will survive even if I don’t. I can heal Lan Fan’s arm, it’s not a fatal wound but if I don’t she will likely lose it. Or, I can unbind the demon Greed from Ling in a way that is safe for them both. There will probably not be another opportunity for that to happen.”

“Heal Fu!” Ling yelled.

“Don’t listen to the demon! Unbind it from Ling!”

“Fu,” Hoenheim leaned over and met the other man’s eyes. “This _is_ Ling speaking. I can tell, with magic.”

Fu looked over at Ling. “Really? Ling?” He asked. His voice was starting to sound weaker.

“Yes, Fu, it’s me. Really.”

“Ling…forget about me. All I want is your happiness and freedom. Let this man remove the demon from you.”

“No. Fu, I _am_ happy like this, what would hurt me the most is losing you.” Ling insisted. _“Greed, I’m sorry I’m not really giving you a say in this but—”_

_“Save it, I agree. Making sure everyone here lives is our top priority.”_

_“Greed…Thank you.”_

Fu coughed and began speaking again. “Ling—”

“If you keep insisting I be unbound from Greed I’ll pull out this sword and Hoenheim will _have_ to heal you before you bleed out.”

“But why?” Fu asked.

“Because I don’t want you to die!” Ling said, and he started to cry.

“You can’t hold on to people forever, Ling, no matter how much you want to.” Fu said sagely. Then he seemed to realize something. “Your leg, it was crushed. Do _your_ wounds need healing?”

“No, I’m fine, Greed healed me. We need to focus on _you_.”

“It _healed_ you? A demon has the power to heal?”

“Yes.”

“And it healed you because you are its vessel?”

“Because I’m his friend. Now stop being so stubborn and let Hoenheim save your life!”

Fu and Ling stared at each other for a moment. Then Fu broke the silence. “Let me talk to the demon.”

“Um, he’s a bit weak right now…”

“Ling.” Fu said sternly. “I need to talk to it.”

“Okay.” Ling said and pushed Greed back in control.

“What do you want, old man? We don’t have a lot of time left to chat.” As if to emphasize his point, sirens became audible in the distance.

“Tell me, are you a man of your word?”

“Yes. I never lie.”

“Good. Now promise me you will always protect Ling and never hurt him, _swear it_.”

“I promise. I swear on my own life.”

“Okay. Now,” He turned to Hoenheim. “Heal Lan Fan instead of me.”

“What?!” Ling and Lan Fan exclaimed simultaneously.

“Your health means more to me than my life.”

“Grandfather! I would much rather lose an arm than lose you!”

Fu looked back and forth between Ling and Lan Fan. “You children are far too stubborn. I suppose I know where you get it from.” He seemed to give in only because he was too weak to continue arguing. “Alright,” He turned to Hoenheim. “You can heal me.”

Ling and Lan Fan stepped back and Hoenheim removed the sword and then quickly put his hands over Fu’s wound. Then there was a bright flash of light and Hoenheim fell to the ground as Fu picked himself up off it. Ed and Al ran towards Hoenheim but he reassured them.

“I’m alright. I’m just tired.”

Fu immediately busied himself worrying over Lan Fan’s wounds, and then the first of the paramedics arrived on the scene. Ling snuck off into the trees a bit, he didn’t want them to see him since he was technically no longer human and if anyone was going to notice that it’d be someone medically trained. Also, he needed to process what had just happened.

“She’s still hurt. Lan Fan’s still hurt and I wasn’t even thinking about her because I was so worried about Fu.”

_“Calm down, kid, you were just prioritizing, making sure everyone survived. And everyone did survive.”_

_“It’s my fault. She only got involved in this because of me.”_

_“Bullshit, it was my enemy we were fighting so it's my fault if it’s anyone’s.”_

_“But I_ chose _to get involved in your problem.”_

 _“And she_ chose _to get involved in yours.”_

_“This is getting complicated.”_

_“Fuck it, we’ll just call it Wrath’s fault.”_

_“...Okay. I have more important things to do than feel guilty anyway. It’s just…I thought this was a win or die scenario. I wasn’t prepared to win but still suffer loss.”_

_“I know, kid, I know.”_

After a silent moment, Ling continued. _“Fu is going to hold you to that promise you made.”_

_“Then it’s a good thing I meant it.”_

The weight on Ling’s shoulders lifted just a little bit when he heard this. As he looked out at the scene beyond the trees, he began to feel a fierce determination. _“Greed, make me look normal. I need to hear what the paramedics are saying and help everyone come up with an explanation for what happened here.”_

_“You got it, kid.”_

Then, looking as close to his old self as he could manage, Ling stepped out of the trees and blended in with the small crowd. At that moment, with a loud crack of thunder, it started raining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, I never planned on actually killing anybody, I just wanted to scare you a bit. Also sorry if you wanted to see the fight against the bastard, but it just didn't feel important to the story. He's always just been a plot device and now that I don't need him anymore he can die offscreen. And! Guys! Next week is the last chapter! I'm so emotional about it!


	18. Beginnings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all! We made it! It's been such a wild ride, I never expected this story to receive as much attention as it did. I've so much enjoyed reading all of your lovely comments over the past *checks calendar* nine-ish months. Wow, nine months, it certainly doesn't feel like it's been that long, it seems like just yesterday I was posting the end of And They Were ROOMMATES and rushing to get this story's ending just right before I started posting it. Thank all of you for sticking with this for so long, I sincerely hope you've had as much fun as I have! And now, without further ado, the conclusion to OH MY GOD They Were Roommates, and to the Roommates Meme series.

“Lan Fan, please, you need to rest!”

“I’m fine! I _need_ to get out of this hospital!”

“You lost an arm, it takes more time than this to recover!”

“ _You_ have no say in this matter, demon. If she wishes to return home she should return home.”

“You listen up old man—”

The argument was interrupted by Ed opening the door to the hospital room. “I, uh, I brought coffee and tea.” He said awkwardly.

The hot drinks were distributed in dead silence. Everyone took a sip then resumed their angered conversing.

“The doctor said you need to stay longer, Lan Fan.” Ling pleaded.

“I feel so useless just lying here!” She said frustratedly. “I need to build my strength back up.” Ling started to protest. “And if I must rest to do so, then at least let me rest in my own home.” She amended.

“She has a point.” Ed said. Ling shot him a glare. “Um, hey, can I talk to you outside for a minute?”

Ed and Ling found a relatively secluded place to talk just outside the hospital room.

“I really wish she would just listen to me. Or the doctor. Or Greed.” Ling said with a sigh.

“I don’t think she’s ever going to listen to Greed.” Ed snarked.

“That’s part of the problem. Both her and Fu are still acting pretty hostile towards him and it makes everybody tense and irritable, I can’t imagine what it’ll be like living with both of them. They just need time to get used to the idea, I know, but I wish that during that time I could be somewhere else.”

“Then I might just have a solution for you. Look, before Hoenheim left he gave me and Al the key to his storage locker. It’s full of all of his research and magical artifacts and stuff. We’re going to go there and learn everything we can.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah, it’ll take us a couple weeks to drive there and we're going to make a road trip out of it. A _real_ road trip. I wanted to ask if you and Greed wanted to come too. Don’t worry, we’re not leaving until Lan Fan’s out of the hospital.”

“After all of this…I don’t know if I can leave them.”

“You just said you wished you could have some time away! Listen, you’ve been through a lot too. At least as much as everyone else. You deserve to do what you want now.”

“…Fu and Lan Fan won’t like me leaving.”

“It sounds they also wouldn’t be too happy about Greed staying.”

“Wouldn’t leaving just make it take longer for them to get used to him?”

“Maybe. But knowing you’re having fun and acting like a normal twenty-year-old will probably help a lot.”

“What about school?”

“Dude, the semester ended two days ago.”

“Oh. Well there goes my GPA.”

“Don’t worry, you’ll recover. What were you planning on doing about school anyway, now that you’re, y’know…”

“Possessed?”

“Yeah.”

“Well,” Ling started. “Luckily my life plan is in alignment with Greed’s values, so we didn’t have to fight about the necessity of my continued education. But Greed is going to be choosing one of my classes each semester from now on.”

“I’m sure that’ll turn out well.”

“Sarcasm is childish, Ed.”

“Okay okay. Now what else do I have to say to get you to say yes like I know you both want to? How about this: Does Greed want to learn some more demonic magic?”

“Eh, I probably should.” Greed responded. “Just in case we get in another fight.”

“See! This trip will be fun _and_ make us stronger.”

Ling thought for a moment. “…Alright, you’ve convinced me.”

“Really? Awesome! I’ll go tell Al.”

“And I’ll try to convince Lan Fan and Fu to let me go without them coming along too.”

……

Ling waited, his packed bags sitting beside him. As he did, he threw one of Greed’s many gashapon bouncy balls against the nearest wall and caught it repeatedly.

_“I can’t wait to get out of this house. No offense to your family, but I’m really looking forward to not getting glared at every time I speak.”_

“Yeah. Spending some time with only people who are already friends with you will be good for us.”

_“I still can’t believe we’re doing this. That we_ get _to do this instead of being dead in those woods.”_

“Yeah.”

_“Ed’s dad beat someone using souls as a battery._ Souls. _There’s only seven demons in the world who can become that powerful.”_

“Including you.” It wasn’t a question.

_“…Yeah. I’ve never actually been that powerful though. I’ve never actually bought a soul, I just have the ability to.”_

“Why not?”

_“Buying people’s loyalty always seemed more useful.”_

“You mean making friends.”

_“No. Henchmen.”_

“Greed…” Ling said. “I’m still getting used to the idea that there are beings in this world that can be as powerful as what we faced in the woods. But…I’m glad at least one of them is someone like you.”

_“…Thanks, kid. But maybe if I had lived up to my potential a bit more we would’ve had better luck in that fight.”_

“Hey, don’t go feeling guilty, it’s not your fault. And we’ll find more ways to make you more powerful when we get to Hoenheim’s storage locker.”

_“Right. Speaking of that, why’d you_ really _agree to go on this trip?”_

“What do you mean?” Ling feigned confusion.

_“I can feel how much you want to stay. You want to go too, but nothing Ed said was a good enough reason for you to say yes to leaving your family right now.”_

“ _You_ want to leave. You need a break from them.”

_“If I can’t bullshit you, then you can’t bullshit me. I know that’s not all of it.”_

“I…The truth is we need to get strong enough to make sure we never have to make a choice like we had to make back there in the woods again. Strong enough to keep _everyone_ safe. And going with Ed and Al is the best way to do that.” To Ling’s surprise Greed laughed at this. “What?”

_“Nothing, I agree. It’s just, wanting to protect_ everyone _, you’re starting to sound a little greedy there, kid.”_

“I guess you’re a good influence on me.” They both laughed. Then Greed grew more somber.

_“Listen, Ling, I’m sorry. I’m sorry your family got hurt and you lost your chance to get your body back all to yourself.”_

“Greed…I still feel the way I did before. I’m fine with you being here with me.”

_“Indefinitely?”_

“Yeah. Yeah, I think so. If you’re okay with it?”

_“I think I am too.”_

Ling took a moment to push all other thoughts from his mind and just focus on their mutual contentment. “I think that’s enough serious talk for now. Listen, I may have some less than lighthearted reasons for going on this trip, and there may be a lot of hard work waiting for us when we reach our destination, but we’re still going to have fun on the way there. I want us to try _everything_!”

_“Damn right. You still owe me all I can eat pizza.”_

This earned another laugh from Ling. “I guess I do.”

There’s a knock on the door, then Ed opens it. “Hey, Greedling, we’re ready to go.”

“You are _not_ calling us that!” Greed protested.

“Whatever, just come on.”

Ling grabbed his bags and walked out of the room. “Y’know, we’re going to have to stop every time we see a storefront psychic just so we can see if they can tell I’m possessed.”

“I thought I vetoed that idea.” Ed responded.

“But Al didn’t. I mean, how else are we going to make some contacts in the supernatural community.”

“Ugh, I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am.” Ling said with a cheeky grin.

Ling was happy. Greed was happy. And their happiness mixed together until it wasn’t easy to tell who was feeling what. But maybe that didn’t matter right now, not with a whole world of opportunity stretched out in front of them. They walked out the front door and started their journey.

“We call shotgun!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it, I hope you all found the ending satisfying! I wanted to make sure it was happy, this story has always been a comedy in the classical sense of the word and I never wanted it to bring anyone anything but happiness (except for those couple times I wanted to leave you on the edge of your seats haha). Now, there's something I want to ask of all of you: Please leave a comment telling me a place you want the boys to go on their roadtrip! I promise nothing, but I'm looking for more things to write about. And speaking of that, I am pleased to announce that this december you can expect to see the Roommates Meme Christmas Special, inspired by a comment from magpiedragon: 3K Words of Greed Riveted by Bubblewrap (ASMR). Oh I just love that I made a 'verse where this little addition to the series is possible! (it's not really ASMR obviously bc this is a written medium) I hope to see you all then, but, for now, this has been such a fulfilling experience for me and I hope you all had fun! And if you're just desperate for more Greedling content between now and then, feel free to check out my new fic, Dare You to Move. Well, time to bid you ado, I hope i was able to bring at least a small amount of joy into your lives, goodbye!

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I write Ed as addicted to caffeine but it's funny so I keep doing it.


End file.
